Mouse With A Fan For Sweaty Gamers

As an aspiring athlete I get pretty hot sometimes while I play, so it’s nice to have a fan handy. What do I play? Esports… as in electronic sports… as in video games… as in not actual sports. Still, it takes a lot of energy to click goblins to death—especially when you weigh 3 times your character’s level and your hand meat gets all sweaty even when you’re not gaming. That’s why Tt eSPORTS has developed the new patent pending BLACK Element Gaming Mouse Cyclone Edition, which is a really long way to say “mouse with a fan on it.” According to the product page it “blows away your gaming tension and sweat…” and dignity (courtesy by www.incrediblethings.com)

Awesome Super Mario Bros Glass Pipe

Because smoking weed until your brain melts and playing video games until your brain melts go hand in hand, here’s a Super Mario Brothers Glass Pipe. It was created (blown?) by artist Paul Stephan. I guess you could say it’s a WARP pipe! Get it? Because it, like, warps your mind and… Aw hell, just forget it! I’m dumb. Plus high. Which is why I’m making zero sense and I really, really want a burrito. But not just any burrito — a burrito that wants me back. I’m so lonely! Drive me to Taco Bell? (courtesy by www.incrediblethings.com)

Octo-Pipe: The Cephalopot Glass Pipe

This is a bad ass Octopus Pipe by Etsy shop LoudActions. It’s soooo cool. Wouldn’t it be awesome to have eight hands? Then you could be all puff puff puff puff puff puff puff puff pass! But for $600? I can’t afford that mess! I mean, come on, I need that cash for weed money! And isn’t that just a perfect example of the cruel world we live in today? I could afford this pipe if I gave up smoking, but if I gave up smoking, I would… Maaaan, I love this song! What was I talking about? Aw forget it. Hey, if you pack a bowl I’ll let you drive me to Taco Bell. Your treat! (courtesy to www.incrediblethings.com)